


Submarine

by etacanis



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-20
Updated: 2012-07-20
Packaged: 2017-11-10 09:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etacanis/pseuds/etacanis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't talk in Iraq, and they don't talk now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Submarine

**Author's Note:**

> Written for mine & [pointblankdarcy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pointblankdarcy/works)'s prompt challenge. Prompt was _“When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. "It's all right" we whisper, "I'm here, I love you." and we lie: "I'll never leave you." For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad.”_

They didn't talk in Iraq, and they don't talk now. They talk around each other, read farther into the _I'm fine_ 's and don't say anything.

At first, it seems like Ray gets it worst. He has the more physical nightmares, wakes Walt up thrashing his arms and kicking out his legs. Walt has to shout to wake him up because touching Ray, eve just a gentle hand on his arm, makes it worse. He'll wake up out of breath, wake up already swearing under his breath but he'll crack a smile when he sees Walt, crack a smile and say _at least I don't steal the covers_ and he'll go back to sleep splayed across Walt.

But it doesn't work that way at all, with Ray having it worse because it's more visible, more tangible, because during the daytime he'll be _okay_. When Walt has nightmares, Ray doesn't know until the morning. He doesn't shout out or fight invisible demons, he stays silent and still and when he wakes up, he doesn't talk about it. Ray'll ask if he's had a nice night's sleep and Walt will say _sure_ but he'll look like he did in Iraq after he killed the guy, haunted and lost and alone.

Ray's not one for talking about his feelings, he's not _Oprah_ , so he buys ice cream and pizza and he tries to make Walt laugh. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes Walt disappears for a few days, leaves Ray alone in the apartment with drawers full of clothes that aren't his and cupboards full of food he doesn't like. Walt never tells him where he goes, but he always comes back.

It's one such time, when Walt's left again with nothing more than the clothes on his back except he's been gone for nearly a week, that Ray tells Brad about them. It's not that he's worrying, it's just that he wants to know if-

He's worrying.

Brad doesn't laugh at him or call him retarded or ask if he's on his period or any of the other things Ray would have done. He says _Walt's fine_ and maybe he says _don't fuck this up, Person_ except it's the kind of thing he'd want Ray to pretend he didn't say. He doesn't tell Ray how he knows Walt's fine and Ray is too busy letting his heart stop pounding with all the shitty _what if_ possibilities to ask if Brad's still sucking the LT's cock. He'd never say he was grateful and he doesn't say thank you, he just hangs up and goes to do the laundry.

Walt comes back two days later, and he doesn't start talking to Ray about shit and Ray keeps on trying to make him smile and Walt _does_ make Ray smile and it works, somehow.


End file.
